Updated: Nov 16, 2019
This incident happened when we were at Halcyon hot springs. It was a beautiful day with no crowd - we almost had the pools to ourselves.
A family of parents, grandparents, and two kids walked in. I noticed that as soon as the toddler sister went to the other pool, the baby brother started crying and calling out to her and didn't stop until she came back. You might be thinking ‘what’s so special about this incident’, but at that minute it felt as if something was missing from my life…. Something which that innocent child has, something which I/all of us as adults don't have.
Kids might take some time to get used to you, but they don't understand the concept of strangers. They can talk to anyone and everyone. They do not have the distinction that someone belongs to us and someone doesn’t. The more people they know, the bigger their circle of bonding is.
We are born as perfect Love beings!
When we come out of our mother’s womb, we come out as perfect love beings. As children, we are connected to everything around us, be it humans, plants, or animals. But as we grow, as we get molded into the social norms, we become less and less of love and, by the time we are adults, we become beings without love. The idea that love is restricted to family, parents, husband/wife, kids, tribe, race, country, etc. somehow gets passed on to us. And we start building walls and separating everyone. We think we can accumulate all the love we have and share it with only the people we want like we do with wealth.
But this is totally against what love is. Love grows when you spread it. If you believe I'm going to build bigger walls and contain all the love inside, you might be misguided to think that you have it all just for your family. But you will eventually realize that there is no love at all, not even for your so-called loved ones because love doesn’t grow when contained.
I feel that we are all connected with this invisible string of love. We are like the beads of a necklace sewn together with the string of love to form this beautiful universe.
Just this thread that runs through us, connecting us with all the other forms of this cosmos, is invisible.
Our umbilical cord might be cut off from our mother, but this umbilical cord can never be cut off. It is this connection or love, which keeps us and everything else in the universe in order.
Unfortunately, we are reminded of this connection only when some calamity strikes us, and it is forgotten as soon as lives get back to normal. And we continue our journeys in pursuit of wealth, power, etc. And behave as if nothing holding us.
If not for this connection, we wouldn’t have survived even for a second… Wonder why? Man would have gone insane from his greed for power and destroyed himself and the whole world. It is this love which keeps us from destroying humanity.
I look around and see zombies everywhere, and most of the time I am one of them. We live our lives unconsciously, without love for ourselves and the people around us. How many times in a day do we remember to take the time to feel and to spread love?
During summer vacation, I used to visit my grandparents. There was a friend who would frequently visit my grandparents. He appeared to be a lovely person. One day he kept insisting that I should stay over at his house. He had two daughters, and the younger one was my age, and we were friends too…. He kept asking a lot. My grandma would never send me to anyone’s house, but this time since he was so pressing and they knew the family so well she sent me. By the time we reached his home, he looked furious and he entered the house with a stern face. His wife and elder daughter became silent as if the jailer had entered the house. I was shown my place to sit on the couch. So I sat there watching TV which was turned on. This man went to freshen up and straight to his room. All I heard were whispering and murmuring sounds.
A bit confused, I asked my friend why no one was talking. She said that the rule of the house was that after the sun sets no one was supposed to talk. And then it was dinner time and the food didn’t turn out the best. It sometimes happens to the best of us, doesn't it? This man started yelling from the room…. I was given a blanket and pillow to sleep where I was sitting. After this man had gone to sleep I heard the eldest daughter expressing her anger to her mother. I woke up in the morning, freshened up, and went back to my house without delay.
It made we wonder why we are so uptight in life. What are we trying to achieve by restricting the love for our kids and family? What are we going to lose if we spend time happily, having fun with everyone? Forget the world outside. Should your children see you as a ferocious monster who is going to eat them?
I have seen so many people like this who appear to be the best people to the whole world, but are no less than blood sucking monsters at home. Imagine a 3 year-old kid waiting for dad/mom to come home so eagerly and sees an angry stern faced monster come in. Can you imagine the dread that overcomes the kid? What do you think happens to kids growing up in environments like these?
Innumerable studies have shown that lack of bonding or love in childhood is the cause of many problems in adulthood. From self-esteem to addiction/substance abuse, bullying, violence etc. they are all causes of lack of love from the family. It’s lack of bonding, connection, support from the caregivers that causes so much trauma. Imagine what the outer world is capable of doing!
If this happens at the very place where the flower of love is supposed to bloom, then I am afraid that the biggest network of human connection is getting severed.
Connecting with nature is a very pleasant and soothing experience and we have all experienced it. But it's much easier for humans to feel the connection/love when we see, touch, hear…. There is so much emphasis on skin contact and bonding right from the minute a child is born. As soon as the baby is born, it’s made to sleep on the parent’s body to develop that sense of bonding and love between them.
Bonding is such an important aspect for a child at every developmental stage. Almost all the books I have read on child development emphasize love rather than punishment. They say that the basis of any behavior in children is based on the connection with the caregivers. When a child feels loved and cared for, s/he is more secure and grows up to be a secure and responsible adult.
Well what's for us to do with all this knowledge? There is no magical potion which will instantaneously turn us into beings of love…. All we need to do is live consciously, love effortlessly. Start at your home…. Family is the biggest gift we can receive. We are not here to live eternally, time is limited. Time runs out faster than you think. Learn to appreciate everything you have in life. Leave each person better than you found them. Spread goodness, spread love, spread happiness. Be the epitome of love.